Parenting can be exhausting, both physically and mentally. It’s an incredibly tough job. On one hand you want to do what is logical and right , on the other hand, you can just give your child what he or she wants, potentially creating a kid with no flexibility or ability to consider the needs of others. Balancing these opposing ideas is what makes parenting so difficult.
Kids have a knack for putting parents in awkward positions that can be frustrating. Making sound decisions can be challenging, especially when you’re tired, under time constraints, or when your child is being…unreasonable. But, in the end, every parent wants to have a good relationship with their child. So, why then do we communicate with our children in a way that drives us apart? Confident parenting can give a win-win situation for both; child and parent.
If you are saying directly no to your child for each thing, think about how you’d feel if someone said “no” to you that many times. Now consider the numerous options on the spectrum in between your child’s “yes” and your “no” … While decisiveness may seem more relevant to adult relationships, it also has great application in how we raise and interact with our children. Leading Preschool & daycare – The Courtyard has a guide for all the parents struggling between being firm & still being loving –
- LISTEN to your child
Acknowledge your child’s feelings which might be bothering them and let them know you have heard them and will work out some solution together. - Be respectful & Model
When you discipline, you can set limits without blaming or shaming your children. Exhibit the behaviour you would like your children to exhibit - Give them choices
When possible give your kids opportunities to make decisions that includes them. This is respectful, encourages independence, makes them more cooperative and shows you have trust in them. - Establish clear rules & Send clear messages about your expectations
Know that it is in your children’s best interest to have clear rules that are consistently enforced with persistence, love, and warmth. - Praise you child
It builds positive behaviour that you would like to see repeated: “Catch them being good.” - Let them face challenges
To avoid problems, anticipate situations that might be difficult for your children. Prepare them for such times. - Be flexible
Also allow for sufficient flexibility to accommodate specific situations and your unique child.
Kanika, the founder at The Courtyard says, “Confident parenting is the most successful way of raising children because it uses a healthy balance of both nurture and structure. Your child grows with self-esteem because you communicate that your child is loved and worthy of respect. You raise a child who is capable of meeting the demands that life places on him. It also builds a strong parent-child relationship, as your child realizes that he can depend on you to both understand his struggles and provide guidance and support.” She sites various benefits of being an confident parent –
- They see you as a source of support and have a sense of safety because rules are in place.
- Children feel loved and an important individual of family.
- They learn to trust relationships and be kind to others.
- They are equipped to face frustration and disappointments.
- Kids learn to consider another person’s point of view & be responsible and to make decisions and tackle difficult situations.
Rimjhim Banerjee, Director says, ” At The Courtyard our team believes in being consistent and predictable. As we are all confident and self-assured in our interactions with the children, it gives the children the confidence to trust us to deliver what we promise them.” We recommend that when parents are in a situation where they feel that the behaviour of their children is not acceptable, instead of berating the children, they should explain to them the cause of their unhappiness and try to help them to understand the repercussions that their actions may have on others. This way a child learns from an early age that they have to demonstrate a certain level of responsibility towards their actions.