Most parents have this perception that to discipline a kid, one may need to give punishment or rewards. But both approaches are wrong. Giving punishment when the child has done something bad makes a negative effect on child. Such parents fail to understand that every child has a unique and wondrous mind. So, it is necessary to understand that if you want to amend a child’s bad behavior than you should focus on what happened before the behavior and why the child took such step. Similarly giving rewards also is not a good idea to avoid a negative situation.
Below are some guidelines of positive parenting to discipline kids without punishment:
Cool down the anger
As a parent, we are the role model for the kids. So it’s important to regulate your emotions. When we shout at our kids and try to discipline them while showing the anger, we actually drown out their inner voice that should be telling them, “I have done something wrong. How can I make this better?” Instead they are thinking, “Why is she shouting at me? What is wrong with her? So it’s important that we don’t lose our calm while handling kid’s misbehavior. Have all ears to them and understand them what they want to say.
Understand Kid’s Feeling
Try to honor the kids feeling. If he is upset with something than let him/her express his/her emotions in a calm, attentive environment. Take him to a calm place, be attentive and try to regulate his emotions. It will help kid to move through these feelings and discover to self-soothe. When he expresses his big feeling, he will feel much better and so much closer to you. Next time kid will be more open to your guidance under such circumstances.
Be connected
Stay connected with your kids mentally. Maximum time, kids misbehave when they feel bad about themselves and disconnected from us. Make an eye contact with them while stooping at their level. Ask them ” Why are you upset?” take her/him in your lap and assure them that you are with him/her.
Set limits with empathy
We all need to keep a set of rules , limitations and schedule. But we need to understand kid’s perspective as well. Kids love to follow rules when they feel that they are understood.
Always use Positive words
It’s important to use correct words while saying no to kids. Find a way to say YES instead of NO even while you set your limit. Use affirmative tone while dealing their tantrums. Your child will respond with the generosity of spirit that matches yours.