In this first month of the New Year, let us be a little introspective. Have we, as responsible adults been able to create an ideal world for our children to live in? Or is the concept of ‘an Ideal world’ just an imagination in our heads? If then there is no ‘ideal world’, have we equipped our children with enough love to live happily in all circumstances?
There are some questions we need to ask ourselves before we begin to call ourselves good parents:
- Is our child facing a problem and does that problem have its base in us?
- Is our child a trouble-maker in her play-group or classroom and could this be due to some dysfunctional situation back at home?
- Is our child heading towards depression, and could the reason for the same be an unpleasant environment at the domestic front?
- Is our child unable to deal with life and is that because she daily faces unpleasant disputes at home?
It’s not just enough to wish the best for the child; it takes great efforts to make her world beautiful. We must therefore not forget to remember that she is much unprepared to deal with unpleasant situations.
Parental squabbles often lead to stress in children and being unequipped to handle it, they often show mood swings and throw tantrums.
Children do not belong to the family alone; they are in fact the future of the world. Any negative behaviour on their path therefore has to be treated as a global concern.
A parent’s greatest concern must be, not the strife back at home but the mental health of the child. Great efforts need to be put in to resolve disturbing issues.
As adults, parents must learn kindness and understanding towards each other. It is noticed that many young couples in fits of fury make life hell not only for themselves but also their child.
Any relationship for its survival needs some level of sacrifice of independence. Sadly though, sacrifices are not much appreciated in the modern world.
If the situation at home then goes beyond control, perhaps a separation would do the child more good than a daily dosage of argumentative dialogues.
However, separate moments of affection and time without any complaints about the other, is what would be of great help to her healthy growth. She would gradually not only begin to understand that her parents may have chosen separate ways for personal reasons, but will also learn to appreciate that in spite of their differences, she was the chosen goal of their different journeys. She may miss out on the togetherness of the unit of love but nevertheless she will love being loved individually, in peace.
— Ruby Malshe —
Its so very true