I had read quite a bit before my actual delivery because I wanted to try for a water birth and knew that it was something you had to train your body for. So, I had joined pre-natal yoga classes and attended it 3-4 times a week even with a hectic full time career. What helped me, was that the yoga classes I chose were walking distance from my office and I could use my lunch time to go there. The Yoga classes in my opinion were extremely useful, it prepared me mentally and physically both. I knew which positions helped me alleviate pain and I had planned in my head what I would use. The Cat-Cow pose, moving through my hips and the breathing techniques to calm my nerves were very helpful. I am a moderately active person and stayed the same during my pregnancy.
If you remain very inactive, you start believing in your head that your pregnant body is just incapable of doing things which is quite untrue. Also, it is untrue that if you are 30+ your chances of natural, without medication delivery gets lower. Infact I was surprised when more of my 30+ friends delivered naturally in the past 2 years compared with other 20-30 year olds I know. I guess it’s because birthing requires a sense of calm and maturity because I believe it is more a mental battle than a mere physical feat.
During my pregnancy, a lot of people discouraged me from opting for a water birth or trying for a non-medicated birth (they said “don’t try to be a super hero”) and this includes doctors and medical practitioners but in the end I could do it.
In addition, another myth I want to denounce is about changing your doctor mid-pregnancy. You should go with a doctor and hospital which you trust completely. I was seeing a doctor who is quite well known in Singapore amongst the expat community until I was 24 weeks. I had not thought about a water birth until then but I did want to try for a natural birth if possible. At 24 weeks after my growth scan came out fine, I thought it was time I had a conversation with my doctor on how we will plan the birth and shared with him that I wanted a doula (a personal mid-wife) to accompany me. His reaction although affirmative was not very encouraging and I had this feeling that he wasn’t the one who would help me go the whole distance. I immediately decided to look for options and landed of Prof. Chong at NUH (National University Hospital, Singapore). Only two hospitals in Singapore give the facility of water birth – one public hospital (NUH) and another is a private hospital (Mt. Elizabeth Novena). I chose the public hospital because Prof. Chong was highly recommended and NUH has a good infrastructure to support any emergency situations (good NICUs etc.). Although, later I did realise that if you end up having a natural delivery, doctors cant and don’t do much J it’s your mid-wives, nurse and doulas and offcourse your husband who are your support through those few hours. You should remember that you are just pregnant, you are not sick so a doctor comes in handy only if it’s an emergency.
Coming back to the story, from 12:30-2:30 AM the contractions kept coming and after a while I could sense when it was coming. I did get 2-3 minute breaks in between but never more than that. I was surprised by myself because everytime a contraction came, it was quite uncomfortable but it never broke my strength. I knew they were there to help me, I let them come and infact after a point just welcomed them knowing it was for my own good. Unintentionally, the hypnobirthing philosophy helped me a lot. In those times when the contractions came, I used to just get on all fours, bow my head as if in a prayer and let the contraction do its work, it was cathartic. After a couple of hours, I realised I had moved to the bathroom somehow and I was still wanting to puke. I was told it’s good to puke because it meant that my contractions were good and strong and it will help me progress better. In between contractions I was a normal person and could laugh and talk around but as soon as I felt the wave of contraction sweeping me again, I could see myself just put my head down and go into my own cocoon. It was like I wanted to join forces with what my body was trying to do to help me. Ankit was always beside me, apart from a few times when he went out to update ma & pa. I told Ankit not to touch me but just sit beside me because this was my battle and I needed to win it myself. At 2:30AM the midwife checked me again and told me I was at 6cm. This was the only time when I asked the nurse if the pain would increase or stay the same as I needed to take a practical decision whether to opt for an epidural as I had heard that they won’t give me any pain relief if I went to 7cm and beyond. When the midwife said the pain would be the same and not increase, I told her in that case I can sustain. In between pains I kept telling Ankit I was so sleepy that I just wanted 5 mins to sleep! The pains were like a very bad menstrual cramp but with every successive contraction I felt an urge to push down like you feel when you want to go to toilet but cant. I sat on the toilet bowl and it helped me a lot. There were a lot of moments where I felt so powerful, like I owned everything and I was made for this but there were times when the pain made my head swivel. But I realised one thing, I wanted to take charge of my birthing process and I was uninhibited. I knew what would help me and I asked for it. For example, after 2:30PM, the midwife kept telling me that I could go into water if I wanted but I said no, I was much more comfortable on the toilet.
At about 2:45 AM I think I started having very strong urge to push. I told the midwife that I wasn’t pushing but my body was. It was completely involuntary. I was letting my body guide me, I trusted my body and I trusted my baby. I knew that complete surrender to my basic instincts was the only way to deal with this. My midwife was now panicking and frantically calling the doctor. I knew I was going to deliver very soon. The contractions had gotten over now and all I had was an urge to push. The urge to push was actually not painful at all; it was just like you wanted to go to the toilet with a particularly bad constipation. Infact after every urge I felt better. The midwife kept seeing my vagina after each push and I knew she was looking for the baby’s head. She put her finger in me and told me the baby’s head was very near. After about 5-6 urges on the toilet I finally shifted to the water pool at around 3:10AM and Prof. Chong came in as well. I felt much better with the warm water on my body and found a fresh wave of energy to push as the time to meet my little one was coming so near. I wanted to help my body as much as I could. Every time I felt an urge to push, I pushed with all my strength. I remember the last 2 pushes before I delivered…I kept telling the doctor to hold the baby and help me by pulling out the baby but Prof. Chong just sat there telling me I had to do the work because I was very close and he could see the baby’s head. Ankit also looked at me and said he saw the baby’s head too during the last push. With no help in sight I pushed with all my might and lo and behold I immediately felt lighter and you were born!
Within seconds, you were brought out of water and put on my body, you opened your eyes and I couldn’t help but smile with Ankit standing just behind me. It was 3:25:25 AM on 1st of January! There was no pain afterwards and I sat there just clinging on to you. In no time you were awake and alert and looking at Papa. Carefully, Papa cut your umbilical cord and the nurse took you away for the post-delivery checks. To my surprise, Papa also followed the nurses and you leaving me in the water 😛 So much for being the wife who delivered his daughter!!
I was brought back to the bed for the customary examinations while your were being weighed, measured etc. Your Agpar score was 9 which was quite good. I got 1-2 stiches which were actually more painful than childbirth :P. Papa clicked lots of snaps of you and rushed outside to inform Ma & Pa. After that Papa & I were left with you for an hour or so and both of us just talked. We thought you were perfect and that we had a dream birthing experience. It was the best time after the eventful night, so serene and so full of happiness.
After that at about 5AM you and I slept cuddled together as if giving high fives to each other for the awesome teamwork we had done together. Anaya, you were perfect and you gave me a perfect pregnancy and birth experience. You and I worked as a team so perfectly even when we hadn’t ever seen each other. I wanted to pen this birthing story so that I always remember it and am always thankful for my blessings. Anaya, Papa & I welcome you to the small world we have built together. We hope we can provide you the best possible environment and opportunities to become the best you can. We hope we will be able to nurture love and respect for everything around you and will raise you as an empathetic human being.
Cheers!
Aanchal
Those who missed out on the first part, can check here – The beginning of the most amazing experience of my life.